Love, Sex and Controversy

Okay the sisters say the problem is that the brothers are 'all dogs', don't respect women and are only interested in sex. The brothers say the only way to keep the sisters interested is to treat them like ‘hoes’ or else the sisters will get bored, think they're 'soft' , play them and find a ‘harder’ brother.

The African brothers and sisters say 'African Americans'(I don't like that adjective, but more on that later) have no culture, respect or sense of community. African Americans say Africans are 'stuck up', arrogant and therefore 'shouldn't be bothered with'.

White people are firmly convinced that Black people have no sense of love or commitment and only care about having as much sex with as many people as possible (With Asians seconding the motion).

Everybody agrees that Black Men prefer White Women (or Hispanic or Black Women that look as White as possible) and Black Women have 'too much attitude' and that’s why they 'have all those problems'.

Now I'm just paraphrasing what many of you have told me in person after the first post. Did I get it right?

Maybe your words are best said, if you say them yourself (hint, hint…).

-JKW

P.S – That’s another original JKW quote, trademark pending ;-)

Introduction

Once upon a time, I don't remember exactly when, there used to be a play touring Atlanta called
"How Do You Love a Black Woman". I never saw it but I remember the radio commercial. It had some deep voiced, soul brother reading a poem titled " How Do You Love a Black Woman". I guess the sisters were supposed to come running in droves to see this play...and maybe they did. But at the time it meant absolutely nothing to me.

I'd better clarify why...because I was a kid.

Now as an adult, going through life and relationships, the question that titles this play keeps coming back to my mind. How DO you love a BLACK WOMAN? Along with How do you LOVE a Black Woman, as a BLACK MAN? Now I know some may say I am over thinking the situation. Some may say I am making this way more complicated than it actually is. I challenge you to look deeper.

Both personal and ideological observations have spawned this question. Let’s start with the ideological. Say we accept the presumption that Africa's children, grandchildren and great grand children, world wide are underrepresented in terms of political and economical ownership. Whether you are a N.O.I Minister or a KKK Grand wizard, you can probably agree with me on that statement (though you may come to blows on the reasons why). Now I venture to say that the primary cause of this is a lack of Black Unity from the community to the national to the global level. Yes, racism, poverty and ignorance are tremendous scourges but they should not hold a people down. These are not diseases that Unity could not cure.

Now why don't we have Unity and how do we go about achieving it? Do we throw a march or a rally? Do we write our congressman? Do we boycott a business? Do we move back to Africa? Do we wear dashikis, speak Swahili and grow naturals? I am not mocking any of these 'solutions'. There is a time and place for everything. But I have a proposal that's even simpler and faster than all of those, but first I have to introduce a concept:

"The seed of a nation is between one man and one woman" - J.K Williams

It all started in prehistoric times: A man and a woman begat a family. The strength of that family is a reflection of the strength of their relationship. Strong families form alliances with other families to form a Tribe. Strong unions between strong Tribes form Nations. A Nation may not just be a political and legal entity; it can be a social and cultural entity that transcends borders.

So what I am saying is: to achieve Black Unity, we must strengthen our families and to strengthen our families we must strengthen our relationships, one man and one woman at a time. But before you strengthen anything you must understand it. This is the primary reason behind my resurfacing of the question that was a title of a stage play: "How do you love a Black Woman"?

Of course this title struck home to me, because I am a man. For women, the question would be "How do you love a Black Man?”. Yes these questions may be posed in a familial sense (Mothers, Fathers, Brothers, Sisters, Sons and Daughters). Yet I would like to address just the romantic, for now.

So who wants to take on this topic with me?